The morning is the hardest time for me. My bed is way too comfortable and warm to ever actually want to get out of it. Try as I may to plan activities that will motivate me to rise and shine, I simply don’t shine. Like, ever. A cheap, dull glow is all I can usually muster.
The mornings suck, which is why we need to do whatever it takes to spice them up a little. One thing I love to do is have interesting (and awkward) interactions with others. I have compiled a list of things non-teachers say to me all the time as they see me in the morning. I have also supplied you with suggested responses (guaranteed to elicit a chuckle or two, of course).
Non-teacher says: “Wow, you’re up early.”
Response: “Actually, I’ve been up for a few hours now. I had to grade some papers and finalize my lesson plans for the week. As it so happens, I was hoping to find someone to proofread them for me. Have a seat.”
Non-teacher says: “Where are you off to so early today?”
Response: “Oh, I thought I’d get a run in before making breakfast and reading the latest news articles. Oh wait, no…I’ve done all that already and am heading to be the sole adult responsible for 30 or more children at a time. I had to skip the news articles, of course…Bush is still president, right?”
Non-teacher says: “Wow, that’s a lot of coffee.”
Response: “The caffeinated liquid in this cup is the only thing stopping me from becoming front page news on a daily basis.”
Non-teacher says: “You’re in a hurry!”
Response: “Yeah, sorry…if I don’t open my classroom by 7 this morning, I’ll get an email from a parent detailing my unprofessionalism and informing me that my boss will soon hear of my crippling lapse of judgment.”
Non-teacher says: “It’s cold outside today.”
Response: “50 bucks says my classroom is colder.”
Non-teacher says: “Bet you can’t wait ‘til summer!”
Response: “I really can’t. It’ll be nice to be able to sleep in until 7 before starting my daily routine of curriculum development and lesson planning.”
Non-teacher says: “I don’t know how you do it every day.”
Response: “A sense of humor helps. Actually, it’s everything. Now get out of the way of the coffee. Haha…no, I’m being very serious right now.”